The Lord your God who goes before you will Himself fight on your behalf, just as He did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness where you saw how the Lord your God carried you, just as a man carries his son, in all the way which you have walked until you came to this place. ~ Deuteronomy 1:30-31 To this place. A place of peace and rest and plenty, according to His riches and grace in Christ Jesus (not mine that I've earned, but His I've been given). I've been carried on His Spirit current...sometimes not knowing where I'll be a month or a week out. But when I know that where I am is where He has led me, it reminds me to trust him for the next step forward. He carries us as a man carries his son. His beloved, cherished, cared for child. Do I deserve to be held in His arms, led by His hand? Not of myself, but that is really beside the point. Always faithful--that's what God is! He is true to himself even when we are not. Not because of who I am, or what I've done, but because of who He is and what He has done! And because I didn't do anything to deserve it, there's not really anything I can do to undeserve it, because it was never about me to begin with. The gift is given. It is my choice each day to receive it, to live in the gift of grace, his mercies new every morning. This morning. In this place. In each place that He brings me to. Then fear creeps in, planting lies of uncertainty in my garden of trust. Lies to choke the growing, rob the sunlight meant to nourish, compete for root space under the surface of our minds, our hearts. Lies that say this place has no future, this place has no meaning for the journey, no fruit worth cultivating to share. But the lies are lies, and their poison must be dug out. Not once a in a while, but regularly keeping our vigil against the unruly impostors. Infuse the soil with truth as a protective barrier! So when I'm home, I trust. When I'm away, I trust. Trusting that this place, too, is a marker on my journey whose destination ultimately lies with Him. My life is hidden with Christ! (Col. 3:3)
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I have been praying for direction, and this morning came across this verse: This is what the Sovereign Lord says: What sorrow awaits the false prophets who are following their own imaginations and have seen nothing at all! ~ Ezekiel 13:3 A sobering reminder to wait on God and not invent my own map. Who is among you that fears the Lord, that obeys the voice of His servant, that walks in darkness and has no light? Let him trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God. Behold, all you who kindle a fire, who encircle yourselves with firebrands, walk in the light of your fire and among the brands you have set ablaze. This you will have from My hand: you will lie down in torment. ~ Isaiah 50:10-11 Even when I don't have light showing the next step, I can still trust in the name of the Lord! He does have a plan, and I don't want to stray from it. Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you to profit, who leads you in the way you should go. ~ Isaiah 48:17 Your ears will hear a word behind you, “This is the way, walk in it,” whenever you turn to the right or to the left. ~ Isaiah 30:21 When I don't have light, I need to close my eyes and listen for a still, small Voice. Listen for my next mission. Because I choose to accept it. This is my first post on the fresh face of my blog! I do like the new look. It's also feels more streamlined to have it incorporated into my main website. Some things, like this one, change by our own choosing. We end chapters in favor of a brighter prospect, and put in the effort necessary to make the transition. Other changes come by the will of another, some for good and some for ill, and we then "recalculate" our route to best get back on track toward our ultimate goal, though perhaps by a different road. Still more change is brought simply by passage of time--this steady ticking of chronological progression that brings us to forks and bridges in our life paths. By one impetus or another, and sometimes combinations of these, change does come. Change is exhilarating. Change is frustrating. Change is beautifully inevitable. I myself often experience a convoluted reaction, leaving me dancing between a swirl of leaves, their cherished colors fading, and the bare branches of unseen promise. I learn I must die to live. Like a hermit crab searching for a new shell because the old no longer fits, or a snake shedding its skin to reveal the new, so I must embrace the vulnerability of leaving behind the past to live Today in the place God has me. I find myself grieving sometimes over a loss, forgetting that "it came to pass", and what is yet in store has its own wonderfulness. It is not wrong to remember, but when the remembering bleeds into a habit of discontent, it is evidence of my focus having turned horribly inward. If the past was hurtful, remember God's grace to move on. If the chapter closing was beautiful, smile because it happened, and trust for more beauty among life's ashes. Because it is there. Oh, it is there! Do not scorn the unfolding of the fresh rose in favor of fragrant dried petals. Should I not choose to relish the daily discovery of the new gifts God has given? Rejoice in the sure promise of those to come? I want to live in thankfulness for simply being a part of His story. He is the master of great story, and the end is already foretold. If a chapter ends in suspense or leaves characters (even me!) in a position of difficulty, surely it will be resolved! We can rest in the knowledge that this next page will draw us ever nearer to the glorious finish line. Will the last chapter leave us hanging? I don't know; but I've heard it on good authority that there is a sequel.... So times change. Circumstances change. We change. And always the old gives way to new, and everything seems different now. Good different? That's partly up to us. Every day there are new choices, and the paths we take lead to the next choices. Don't let what is past keep you from the right choice for Today! Yes, I am an actress. Yet this is real life. Are these not the roles we "live" for? Complex, heartbreakingly real characters. People who encounter both obstacles and opportunities, sorrow and joy, pain and healing. These show us that there is something, Someone, greater than ourselves or our own personal drama. I am grateful to be a sketching of His grace. We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us....We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed....Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4) Wise words written by my grandfather on June 5th, 2000.
"To hope is to believe in the possibility, however slim, that things will change. It is to believe that given patience and time one can endure whatever may come before one’s situation improves and that things promised or principles held will eventually prevail. To hope is to trust in the outcome no matter how costly or difficult the way, to hold on to one’s beliefs in spite of all indications to the contrary. Hope is that state of belief that enables all one’s resources to be focused on an outcome deemed impossible by all human odds whether that outcome is fulfilled in one’s lifetime or beyond. Hope transcends time and events. Hope is the catalyst that triggers energy you did not know you had, to do what you didn’t know you could, in situations you never knew you’d face. Hope is the connecting rod between faith and fulfillment. Hope is grounded in the unchanging One who validates our faith in his sovereign will. Hope stands between what we believe and the Eternal God in whom we believe to enable us to love even when there is no earthly reason for us to love." Today is a good day. Because I'm with God, and he is with me. Tomorrow will be a good day. Because even if I change and/or circumstances go crazy around me, God is still the same--good. And he won't leave me. I love this God that loves and buys what this world says is worthless. He breathes his life into our mess, and creates beauty from ashes. He sees our confusion, our fallenness from his glorious plan, and reaches out. He does what we cannot, and the result is grace. How can we please him? By trusting, believing to the core of our soul that what he did trumps our black hole of debt.
By knowing that he is. And that he is ever and always enough. I love this God that knows my pain and heals the wounds I am afraid to touch, binds my heart-fractures with his comfort. Bids me rest in his peace as he knits me back together in wholeness. In quietness I wait. Listening. Hearing. His dear whisper speaks deeper than any voice I've ever known. And his words are very life to me. What does he desire of me? This I want to give. A broken, repentant heart...to cherish his presence...pursue truth and kindness...to love as he loves. I love this God who sees each life he created as infinitely precious. Worth living. Worth loving. Worth dying for to save. Who else gazes on this darkness of rebellion and deceit and decides to send his greatest treasure to rescue a stray sheep? A stray flock? A stray human race? And one of those sheep was I. You drew near when I called on you; you said, "Do not fear!" O Lord, you have pleaded my soul’s cause; you have redeemed my life. ~ Lamentations 3:57-58 For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body. ~ 1 Corinthians 6:20 The first snow of the year has fallen, and, so far, has stayed. The brilliant whiteness adds to seasonal cheer and travel hazards. Love it or hate it, winter is here! Cold, yet cozy. Beautiful, yet dangerous. Fun...and annoying. The beauty may even prickle to the touch. Metaphor for life? Most of us have picked a favorite season out of the year, if only to have an answer when asked. Each have their pros and cons, and our selfish psyche picks which ones to remember and wishes away the rest. But as there is a "reason for the season" of Christmas (which approaches with astonishing pace!), there is likewise a purpose for each season we encounter in our lives. We know that seasons change, but we do not always have the time or the inclination to prepare for them. Sometimes the change seems to come without warning....and not all the seasons are welcome. While there may be the occasional Indian summer of unexpected happy adventures, more often it seems that the interruption is of a sinister nature: accidents, sickness, unemployment, heartbreak, or the death of a loved one. What do you do with that? Perhaps the most troubling question is: WHY? Why did this happen? (or not happen...) Why did this happen to me? Why did this happen now? Why shouldn't I give up now? Why doesn't it just go away? While those questions may have answers, maybe that's the wrong sort of question for us to be asking at first. Maybe the essence of Why is a distraction, to keep us sitting at the base of the hurdle in our way, analyzing the structure and philosophizing about the placement on the track instead of jumping or climbing over to continue the race. We mean well, of course. If we know Why, then we know what to do about it, right? We would know how to prevent it from happening again, and eventually have a problem-free life. Right? Wrong: "...in this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33) I have several friends who were/are involved in debate clubs growing up. Something they have learned is that if you let your opponent frame the questions for you, or fall into a default mode, you lose the argument. All right, fine. So what questions could we be asking instead? Well, here are some that I use for target practice when I'm "trouble shooting." :-) What is the trouble/s? It is said that identifying the problem is the first step to dealing with it. While not imperative for initial action, understanding the issue is certainly necessary to achieve a long-term resolution of it. And have you noticed that troubles like to travel in company? When I'm feeling overwhelmed, it really helps me to write down a list of all the variables trying to stress me out, so that the nebulous mass doesn't keep churning in the back (or front) or my mind. Then I talk the list over with God. Whom does this affect? Something I have found is that it helps to shift the focus from myself to others. Obviously this is affecting me personally, but while I might feel alone, I'm usually not. Even seemingly isolated troubles often have ripples into other people's lives. What can I do to ease their pain and better understand their burden? Who am I fighting against? Regardless of who or what I think caused the problem, I need to recognize who the enemy really is: Satan. The devil will use whatever he can to distract me and trick me into putting my energy into warring against anything else. But although the symptoms vary with each case, it's hard to go wrong with targeting him as the ultimate perpetrator. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ~ Ephesians 6:11-12 How has God shown himself strong in the past? I remind myself that God is greater than my trouble/enemy. I read the Bible and find story upon true story of how God has shown his power and grace in strong, effective ways. I search out modern-day testimonies from friends or even strangers that relate to my situation. I review the specific faithfulness and goodness of God in my personal history. When I can't remember certain events well, I try to find someone else who was there that can help me recall it better. It also helps to write down answered prayers in a journal to look back at. How do I fight? Instead of reacting in fear, doubt, hate, worry, griping, or other such destructive manner, I strive to respond with the opposite. These are some tactics in my arsenal:
How can I glorify God through this? There comes a point when how we respond to hardship contributes to answering the Why. When we submit our lives to the Lord Jesus, God works in our lives to bring good out of even the things that Satan meant to destroy us (Romans 8:28). We can partner in this process by keeping our eyes open for opportunities to give glory to God along the way. "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." ~ John 9:3 As you may have guessed, this is majorly a distillation of what I am learning from my recent life struggles: nursing my sister when she was suffering from a recurring high fever, dealing with a nasty rash on my own skin, resisting depression after the high of a long film shoot, ongoing car trouble, paying unexpected bills, and being there for friends in a hard place. It's been a hard fall. But God has brought us through as victors, not victims! God has healed us and we experienced a recovery much faster than normal. I've been receiving unexpected gifts and funds that have covered all the expenses, and now have a wonderfully functional vehicle. And despite my many imperfections and inexperience, he has somehow used me to help others through some rough spots at the same time. I am in awe of what he has done—and is still doing! But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. ....All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. ~ 2 Corinthians 4:7-9, 15-18 Yes, life can be very painful, and often confusing. No, there doesn't seem to be a shortage of inconvenient circumstances cropping up from the infamous land of Nowhere with the unnerving speed of Suddenly. But who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. ~ Romans 8:35-39 Two weeks ago I had a lesson. It was a life lesson. It was a pottery lesson. The potter I was learning from teaches sculpting. He taught me how to make a clay vase and then a bowl, using fine quality clay, a wheel, and a few small tools. He patiently demonstrated the entire workflow, talking through each step and explaining the hows and whys. Then he placed a generous lump of clay in my hand, we switched places around the wheel, and I began applying what I had just witnessed. The first step, and the most important one, is to center the clay on the wheel. As the wheel began to spin faster and faster my hands pressed hard around the clay, keeping it in the center where the centrifugal and centripetal forces would work for and not against the shaping process. Once this was accomplished, I carefully dug my thumb into the center to establish the base thickness, adding water as needed to moisten the clay. Balancing with my remaining fingers on the outer edge, I slowly drew my thumb toward the side, allowing the interior circle to widen. To create the sides, I crossed my thumbs for better control and gently pulled on either side of the clay wall with my index and middle fingers. The whirling wheel made the wall pull up evenly as I pressed and pulled the malleable clay. Shaping tools aided in refining texture and curve, or scraping excess clay from the base. From start to finish, this is called "throwing" the clay. Finally, we slid durable string underneath the vessel in preparation for removing it from the wheel, and used a lifting tool to set it on another table to dry. When hardened some from air-drying, it would be ready for a last trim of the base and drawing the desired design in the clay before firing it in the kiln. If glazed, it would go through the fire twice. On my second throw (first try at the bowl) all was going well until I got part way into the shaping of the walls. My pinching was not as even as I had hoped, and the instability this caused in the side of the bowl resulted in an implosion. My instructor wasn't upset; he explained what had happened, and gave me a new portion of clay to start over with. The clay I had just mishandled was still usable, he clarified, but would need reworking (pounding, kneading, etc.) before throwing it again. I was heavily reminded of the scriptures that speak of us being the clay in God's hands, the Potter's hands. I know how often I can get off-center, trying to pinch my own sides into what I think my life should look like. Alternately, I'll allow or invite others to mold me into how they think I should be, which inevitably leads to uneven, imploding walls. It is only by yielding once more to the master Potter's skill that I can be redeemed and formed into the beauty and usefulness He has destined for me. This said, we are not promised an easy life, free of pain or hardship or sorrow. We are called to follow in the footsteps of our Master, who lived in sacrificial service to others, and obedience to the Father, in spite of opposition and offense and accusation. Jesus spoke regarding the abandonment and torment he would soon face: "Behold, an hour is coming, and has already come, for you to be scattered, each to his own home, and to leave Me alone; and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me. These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." ~ John 16:32-33 The goal of our lives is to be transformed into the image, the shape, of Jesus Christ. Yielding to this transformation is both glorious and painful. But God is greater than the pokes and prods, yes, the abuse inflicted on our malleable selves by well-meaning friends, un-meaning strangers, and malicious "clay vandals." "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." (Phil. 1:6) What follows are the lyrics to a song I wrote nearly two years ago. Some of my closest friends are dealing with extremely painful soul wounds right now, and it is to those beloved broken vessels that I dedicate these words. The Faithful One a song by Rebekah Cook In a storm When the lightning cracks And the thunder rumbles In my storm When I'm thrown off track And my dream has crumbled I close my eyes and pray In a storm All the windows rattle And the roof is shaking In my storm Another fruitless battle And my heart is breaking I close my eyes and pray I pray for strength to make it to another day That when I blink away the tears I'll see God's colors again In the rainbow I see your faithfulness In the rainbow Your promise is true In the rainbow I see your faithfulness In the rainbow Your mercies are new They're new every morning... On a cloudless day The sun beats down I'm suffocating On my hot, cloudless day I feel I'm going to drown While I am waiting So I lift my hands and pray On a cloudless day Becalmed on a sea Of expectations On my hot, cloudless day Buried in the debris Of my frustrations I lift my hands and pray I pray for strength to make it to another day That when you fill my sails once more I've an anchor for my soul When the wind blows I see your faithfulness When the wind blows Your promise is true When the wind blows I see Your faithfulness When the wind blows Your mercies are new They're new every morning... In the darkness of night Lost in a drift Of silent grieving In my darkest night Will it ever lift-- This pain I'm weeping? I bow my head and pray I pray for strength to make it to another day That as your arms surround me now I'll sense a glimpse of dawn With the sunrise I see your faithfulness With the sunrise Your promise is true With the sunrise I see your faithfulness With the sunrise Your mercies are new In the storm, in the heat, in the darkness Though near you sometimes seem so far away Yet even in the midst of my intense confusion Your love breathes hope deep inside of me That when the rain comes I'll see your faithfulness For in the rainbow Your promise is so true When the wind blows I'll see your faithfulness And with each sunrise Your mercies are new Yes, with each sunrise Your mercies are new For God, who said, “Light shall shine out of darkness,” is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. ...Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal. ~ 2 Corinthians 4:6-11, 16-18 Seconds of sliding changed weekend plans faster than I'd have thought possible. We were coming home from set Friday morning after a night of filming on Beyond The Mask. Traffic was dense and there was heavy rainfall. I was driving, and my sister Christy was asleep on the passenger side. I was trying to take it easy, but hydroplaned at a red light and rear-ended the vehicle in front of me, totaling my car. We were both conscious and coherent at the scene. First responders arrived quickly. The other driver was fine; praise God! The set medic and some other production crew members got to the hospital ahead of us and were there to help us through the process. My brother immediately started on his way from VA, and got here Friday evening. Spencer and his mom also came from WI to be with us for a few days. Christy was kept in the emergency unit for observation throughout the night. She sustained multiple rib fractures on her right side, but is doing very well. We are "home" now to where we are currently staying in MI, and are taking it easy. My neck was stiff the next day, but I am uninjured. How thankful we are for God's hand of protection! "What if" thoughts try to sneak in and conjure up alternate scenarios leading up to an outcome without a crash, but I handcuff them to the knowledge of my Christ, my Redeemer. He is my stronghold in the day of trouble (Nahum 1:7). In this world we will have trouble, but take heart! He has overcome the world (John 16:33). You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. ~ Psalm 32:7 God is so much bigger than any of my mistakes, so much stronger than any evil that can come against us. He even turns what Satan means to destroy us into an instrument of grace in our lives. We are not doomed to a living regret of what-ifs and should'ves and if-onlys. Instead, he gives us a living hope. (1 Peter 1:3) There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off. ~ Proverbs 23:18 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~ Jeremiah 29:11 The peace that I have experienced since the accident is hard for me to even comprehend. It is guarding my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus (Phil. 4:7). I have not had a single nightmare, though I remember the incident fairly clearly. I cry sometimes, but it's more healing than hurting. There are definitely times of emotional release, of accepting comfort given, of feeling the stress of watching someone I love be in pain. There are times when I have to actively accept the peace instead of wallowing in "reasonable" condemning, accusatory thought patterns. If I want life and peace I must let my mind be controlled by the Holy Spirit (Romans 8:6) and choose life-giving thoughts. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. ~ Philippians 4:8-9 My God gives grace to the humble, strength to the weak, comfort to the broken, healing to the wounded. His love is unfailing, unwavering, undeterred. His glorious presence sustains joy in the middle of any storm. Did you know that in spite of the pain and confusion and tears and smoke and rain and phone calls and exhaustion, within minutes my sister and I had prayed, smiled, cracked a couple of jokes, and prayed again? Being the first time I had experienced this sort of trauma, I have a hunch that this isn't an expected reaction—were it not for the grace of God surrounding us. Thank you all for your rich outpouring of love and prayers for us! We are blessed to have such a wonderfully big "family." Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. ~ Romans 15:13 People sometimes tell me how strong I am. But I don't feel strong. Whatever strength is there, it surely isn't mine. I guess that would be scriptural: For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength. Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. ~ 1 Corinthians 1:25-27 I have been called. Called to live my life in love and joy and peace and patience and faith and kindness and obedience. Called to devote my energies and thoughts and words and actions as a living sacrifice of adoration to the one true God. Called to a steadfast surrender to the astounding Grace that makes it at all possible. Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight. ~ Psalm 119:35 All well and good to be willing to obey, but what if we are unsure of the path to take? What constitutes obedience in a particular instance? It is said that the devil is in the details. Perhaps, but my God is Lord over both the details and the bigger picture, so I'm in the best of hands. This is what the Lord says—your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. They did not thirst when he led them through the deserts; he made water flow for them from the rock; he split the rock and water gushed out. ~ Isaiah 48:17, 21 He will teach me, direct me, lead me in the way I should go. But so often I'm like a little kid: "Are we there yet?" and five minutes later "How much LONGer?!!" In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation. ~ Psalm 5:3 As I was growing up my family would sometimes take an entire summer and visit friends and family all across the States. I grew used to lengthy drives and learned to use the time spent in the van productively. Those who were able might decide to nap some in order to arrive with more energy. Reading, studying, talking with parents and siblings, singing songs, playing travel games, folding origami, tatting, crocheting, solving puzzles—there were countless activities available to occupy us (besides the ever-tempting snack-box). Have I so quickly forgotten how to be content as a passenger? Humph. But at least on THOSE trips I knew what to expect! Oh, really? What about traffic delays, adverse weather conditions, construction detours—and my still developing sense of time passage itself? Is this really so different? Many of us are still children with respect to interacting with heaven's timetable. I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning. ~ Psalm 130:5-6 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. ~ Lamentations 3:22-26 A dear friend reminded me yesterday that I am not the only one having to employ patience here. God is being patient, too. Not just patient with me (which he is, and I am SO thankful!), but everything else going on that makes things take longer than they might otherwise. God is excited for me to glimpse the next adventure, thrilled to take me there and share my delight in what he has so graciously prepared. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. ~ Ephesians 2:10 He is infinitely more eager than I, and infinitely more patient. Anticipation is helpful. Impatience and anger over unmet expectations are not. Do we joyfully trust our Father that the good things he has prepared for us will also come in his beautiful time? I confess that after publishing my last post all about waiting, part of me indulged in the thought that the package I was waiting for (speaking figuratively) would now "magically" appear. Another part of me suspected that there was still much to learn about this fascinating facet of life called "waiting." The former part hoped that the latter part was being unnecessarily pessimistic. I chuckle inside now at my psychological game. Who was I kidding? It is when our own strength runs out that we discover the true strength that comes from depending on God alone. God enjoys spending time with me—me spending time with him. Yes, he will be with me, holding my hand as I walk through the door when that time comes. I even think I know which door that is, though not fully what lies behind it. It hasn't opened yet, though I have knocked several times. Well, that doesn't mean I can't praise God in the hallway! Let's break out the car songs . . . . ;-) "Yes." "No." "Wait." Which of these answers would be the hardest for you to hear? If you're like me, you would say the third. The why of a yes or no isn't as tough to deal with as the "how long?!" of a wait. But so often that's exactly where I find myself: waiting. And it's easy to get discouraged if I keep staring into the dense fog obscuring what's ahead. I like how Corrie Ten Boom expressed the futility of it. She said: "Worry is a cycle of inefficient thoughts whirling around a center of fear....Never fear to trust an unknown future to a known God." We are exhorted in scripture to live by faith (2 Cor. 5:7) in light of a living hope (1 Peter 1:3). This is not an empty suggestion, but a vital expression of a life surrendered to Christ. In a culture drowning in the "easier and faster is better" philosophy it can be a constant struggle to maintain joy and peace in the waiting seasons. Yet I am convinced that being patient is not sitting around moping, wishing, sighing for something I'm not sure of. Patience is faith that endures. It endures the difficulty of known obstacles, the uncertainty of fluctuating variables, the frustration of invisible progress, and the temptation to get depressed with the slow, lingering passage of Time. And we desire that each one of you show the same diligence so as to realize the full assurance of hope until the end, so that you will not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises. ~ Hebrews 6:11-12 Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord. ~ Psalm 27:14 Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary. ~ Isaiah 40:31 But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it. ~ Romans 8:25 When I find myself growing restless or impatient, here is how I take stock:
Let's take a brief example. If I am expecting a call that would mean a trip somewhere, I can already start packing my bag. But what if the call doesn't come, or it turns out the trip is unnecessary? Well, then I unpack the bag! That wasn't so hard, now, was it? And yes, I have "been there, done that." :) Keeping busy by being productive while I'm waiting helps me to maintain a proper perspective even as I prepare for when the season of waiting comes to an end. And it does! When the answer is "Wait" it is not for an indefinite period of dangling in limbo. Remember, God is always faithful to his promises: For the vision is yet for the appointed time; it hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay. ~ Habakkuk 2:3 So for all you fellow "waiters" out there, my prayer for you is that: ...you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience; joyously giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in Light. ~ Colossians 1:9b-12 |
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