The first snow of the year has fallen, and, so far, has stayed. The brilliant whiteness adds to seasonal cheer and travel hazards. Love it or hate it, winter is here!

Cold, yet cozy. Beautiful, yet dangerous. Fun...and annoying. The beauty may even prickle to the touch.

Metaphor for life?

Most of us have picked a favorite season out of the year, if only to have an answer when asked. Each have their pros and cons, and our selfish psyche picks which ones to remember and wishes away the rest. But as there is a "reason for the season" of Christmas (which approaches with astonishing pace!), there is likewise a purpose for each season we encounter in our lives.

We know that seasons change, but we do not always have the time or the inclination to prepare for them. Sometimes the change seems to come without warning....and not all the seasons are welcome. While there may be the occasional Indian summer of unexpected happy adventures, more often it seems that the interruption is of a sinister nature: accidents, sickness, unemployment, heartbreak, or the death of a loved one. What do you do with that?

Perhaps the most troubling question is: WHY? Why did this happen? (or not happen...) Why did this happen to me? Why did this happen now? Why shouldn't I give up now? Why doesn't it just go away? While those questions may have answers, maybe that's the wrong sort of question for us to be asking at first. Maybe the essence of Why is a distraction, to keep us sitting at the base of the hurdle in our way, analyzing the structure and philosophizing about the placement on the track instead of jumping or climbing over to continue the race.

We mean well, of course. If we know Why, then we know what to do about it, right? We would know how to prevent it from happening again, and eventually have a problem-free life. Right?

Wrong: "...in this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)

I have several friends who were/are involved in debate clubs growing up. Something they have learned is that if you let your opponent frame the questions for you, or fall into a default mode, you lose the argument. All right, fine. So what questions could we be asking instead? Well, here are some that I use for target practice when I'm "trouble shooting." :-)

What is the trouble/s? It is said that identifying the problem is the first step to dealing with it. While not imperative for initial action, understanding the issue is certainly necessary to achieve a long-term resolution of it. And have you noticed that troubles like to travel in company? When I'm feeling overwhelmed, it really helps me to write down a list of all the variables trying to stress me out, so that the nebulous mass doesn't keep churning in the back (or front) or my mind. Then I talk the list over with God.

Whom does this affect? Something I have found is that it helps to shift the focus from myself to others. Obviously this is affecting me personally, but while I might feel alone, I'm usually not. Even seemingly isolated troubles often have ripples into other people's lives. What can I do to ease their pain and better understand their burden?

Who am I fighting against? Regardless of who or what I think caused the problem, I need to recognize who the enemy really is: Satan. The devil will use whatever he can to distract me and trick me into putting my energy into warring against anything else. But although the symptoms vary with each case, it's hard to go wrong with targeting him as the ultimate perpetrator.

Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ~ Ephesians 6:11-12

How has God shown himself strong in the past? I remind myself that God is greater than my trouble/enemy. I read the Bible and find story upon true story of how God has shown his power and grace in strong, effective ways. I search out modern-day testimonies from friends or even strangers that relate to my situation. I review the specific faithfulness and goodness of God in my personal history. When I can't remember certain events well, I try to find someone else who was there that can help me recall it better. It also helps to write down answered prayers in a journal to look back at.

How do I fight? Instead of reacting in fear, doubt, hate, worry, griping, or other such destructive manner, I strive to respond with the opposite. These are some tactics in my arsenal:

• I speak words of faith: say scriptures out aloud, pray for wisdom, and encourage myself in the Lord. 
• If applicable, I pray for those who are acting or speaking against me, and ask God to express his love to them through me. 
• I feed on (listen to, think about, talk about) what I know to be true about the faithfulness of God. 
• I use practical wisdom. For example, if I'm fighting an illness, I'll lay off of sugar for a while and step up the Vitamin C...and anything else I learn about that will help.
• I pray in other tongues to build up my faith and let the Holy Spirit speak through me the wisdom and will of God. 
• I rejoice, choosing to rest in the joy that comes from Christ, not circumstances. 
• I sing! Praise is so powerful spiritually; it keeps me focused on being in God's presence while routing the enemy. 
• Having done all I know to do: I stand my ground. (Ephesians 6:13)

How can I glorify God through this? There comes a point when how we respond to hardship contributes to answering the Why. When we submit our lives to the Lord Jesus, God works in our lives to bring good out of even the things that Satan meant to destroy us (Romans 8:28). We can partner in this process by keeping our eyes open for opportunities to give glory to God along the way.

"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." ~ John 9:3

As you may have guessed, this is majorly a distillation of what I am learning from my recent life struggles: nursing my sister when she was suffering from a recurring high fever, dealing with a nasty rash on my own skin, resisting depression after the high of a long film shoot, ongoing car trouble, paying unexpected bills, and being there for friends in a hard place. It's been a hard fall.

But God has brought us through as victors, not victims! God has healed us and we experienced a recovery much faster than normal. I've been receiving unexpected gifts and funds that have covered all the expenses, and now have a wonderfully functional vehicle. And despite my many imperfections and inexperience, he has somehow used me to help others through some rough spots at the same time. I am in awe of what he has done—and is still doing!

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 
....All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. ~ 2 Corinthians 4:7-9, 15-18

Yes, life can be very painful, and often confusing. No, there doesn't seem to be a shortage of inconvenient circumstances cropping up from the infamous land of Nowhere with the unnerving speed of Suddenly.

But who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. ~ Romans 8:35-39

Treasure In Heaven is the tale of a small town pastor who is merely going through the motions. All seems to be a smooth ride, until a stranger's quiet wisdom prompts the Rev to take a sober look at his congregation's complacency, as well as his own. No longer content with appeasing the church board, the Rev begins to take a stand for living according to scripture instead of the status quo. 

Not everyone is happy about his rekindled spiritual fervor, however. When he confronts a prominent businessman about an adulterous affair, threats and rumors start to fly. Now the Rev and his wife have a choice to make: to fear man, or to fear God.

This is the second feature I've acted in, and the first to be finished! I play a girl in the youth group named Jane who is startled out of her "normal" teenage existence through the radical change she sees in the life of her pastor. The premiere of Treasure in Heaven is scheduled for Saturday, November 10, 2012 at the Cobb Theater in Leesburg, VA. Unfortunately, I'll not be in the area, but if YOU are, you might want to check it out.

Cobb Theatre Auditorium #11 Village 12 1600 Village Market Blvd Leesburg, VA 20175 (571) 291-9462 http://www.cobbtheatres.com/leesburg12.aspx 

Doors will open at 9:15 AM and the movie will start promptly at 10:00 AM (i.e. there will be no movie trailers shown). The concession stand will be open.

Tickets are $5 at the door. Please bring cash as the movie showing is a special event for the theater, so will not be using the normal movie ticketing system.

Movie Trailer: http://www.tihthemovie.com/TIH_View_Trailer.html

Two weeks ago I had a lesson. It was a life lesson. It was a pottery lesson.

The potter I was learning from teaches sculpting. He taught me how to make a clay vase and then a bowl, using fine quality clay, a wheel, and a few small tools. He patiently demonstrated the entire workflow, talking through each step and explaining the hows and whys. Then he placed a generous lump of clay in my hand, we switched places around the wheel, and I began applying what I had just witnessed.

The first step, and the most important one, is to center the clay on the wheel. As the wheel began to spin faster and faster my hands pressed hard around the clay, keeping it in the center where the centrifugal and centripetal forces would work for and not against the shaping process.

Once this was accomplished, I carefully dug my thumb into the center to establish the base thickness, adding water as needed to moisten the clay. Balancing with my remaining fingers on the outer edge, I slowly drew my thumb toward the side, allowing the interior circle to widen. To create the sides, I crossed my thumbs for better control and gently pulled on either side of the clay wall with my index and middle fingers. The whirling wheel made the wall pull up evenly as I pressed and pulled the malleable clay. Shaping tools aided in refining texture and curve, or scraping excess clay from the base. From start to finish, this is called "throwing" the clay.

Finally, we slid durable string underneath the vessel in preparation for removing it from the wheel, and used a lifting tool to set it on another table to dry. When hardened some from air-drying, it would be ready for a last trim of the base and drawing the desired design in the clay before firing it in the kiln. If glazed, it would go through the fire twice.

On my second throw (first try at the bowl) all was going well until I got part way into the shaping of the walls. My pinching was not as even as I had hoped, and the instability this caused in the side of the bowl resulted in an implosion. My instructor wasn't upset; he explained what had happened, and gave me a new portion of clay to start over with.
The clay I had just mishandled was still usable, he clarified, but would need reworking (pounding, kneading, etc.) before throwing it again.

I was heavily reminded of the scriptures that speak of us being the clay in God's hands, the Potter's hands. I know how often I can get off-center, trying to pinch my own sides into what I think my life should look like. Alternately, I'll allow or invite others to mold me into how they think I should be, which inevitably leads to uneven, imploding walls. It is only by yielding once more to the master Potter's skill that I can be redeemed and formed into the beauty and usefulness He has destined for me.

This said, we are not promised an easy life, free of pain or hardship or sorrow. We are called to follow in the footsteps of our Master, who lived in sacrificial service to others, and obedience to the Father, in spite of opposition and offense and accusation. Jesus spoke regarding the abandonment and torment he would soon face:  

"Behold, an hour is coming, and has already come, for you to be scattered, each to his own home, and to leave Me alone; and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me. These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." ~ John 16:32-33

The goal of our lives is to be transformed into the image, the shape, of Jesus Christ. Yielding to this transformation is both glorious and painful. But God is greater than the pokes and prods, yes, the abuse inflicted on our malleable selves by well-meaning friends, un-meaning strangers, and malicious "clay vandals."

"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." (Phil. 1:6)

What follows are the lyrics to a song I wrote nearly two years ago. Some of my closest friends are dealing with extremely painful soul wounds right now, and it is to those beloved broken vessels that I dedicate these words.

The Faithful One
a song by Rebekah Cook

In a storm
When the lightning cracks 
And the thunder rumbles
In my storm
When I'm thrown off track 
And my dream has crumbled
I close my eyes and pray

In a storm 
All the windows rattle 
And the roof is shaking
In my storm 
Another fruitless battle
And my heart is breaking
I close my eyes and pray

I pray for strength to make it to another day
That when I blink away the tears
I'll see God's colors again

In the rainbow 
I see your faithfulness
In the rainbow 
Your promise is true
In the rainbow 
I see your faithfulness
In the rainbow 
Your mercies are new

They're new every morning...

On a cloudless day 
The sun beats down
I'm suffocating
On my hot, cloudless day
I feel I'm going to drown 
While I am waiting
So I lift my hands and pray

On a cloudless day
Becalmed on a sea 
Of expectations
On my hot, cloudless day 
Buried in the debris 
Of my frustrations
I lift my hands and pray

I pray for strength to make it to another day
That when you fill my sails once more
I've an anchor for my soul

When the wind blows
I see your faithfulness
When the wind blows 
Your promise is true
When the wind blows
I see Your faithfulness
When the wind blows 
Your mercies are new

They're new every morning...

In the darkness of night 
Lost in a drift 
Of silent grieving
In my darkest night 
Will it ever lift--
This pain I'm weeping?
I bow my head and pray

I pray for strength to make it to another day
That as your arms surround me now
I'll sense a glimpse of dawn

With the sunrise
I see your faithfulness
With the sunrise 
Your promise is true
With the sunrise
I see your faithfulness
With the sunrise 
Your mercies are new

In the storm, in the heat, in the darkness
Though near you sometimes seem so far away
Yet even in the midst of my intense confusion
Your love breathes hope deep inside of me

That when the rain comes
I'll see your faithfulness
For in the rainbow
Your promise is so true
When the wind blows
I'll see your faithfulness
And with each sunrise 
Your mercies are new

Yes, with each sunrise
Your mercies are new

For God, who said, “Light shall shine out of darkness,” is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. ...Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.  ~ 2 Corinthians 4:6-11, 16-18

Some actors are notorious for injecting their own opinions into a script. Opinions on why the character is the way they are, what they should do, how they should do it, and even changing dialogue to better fit what they think the character would say. But that isn't really the actor's place.

If there is a script, it's there for a reason. The story is told the way it is on purpose! Just because I am chosen to portray a role in the story doesn't mean that I have been given creative license to decide what my character is about. My ideas about my character's arc and development will only be legitimate insofar as I am staying true to the intents of the director.

"Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker, to him who is but a potsherd among the potsherds on the ground. Does the clay say to the potter, 'What are you making?' Does your work say, 'He has no hands'?"  ~ Isaiah 45:9

The director has the final word. Any suggestions must pass through the director. The rest of the team unites under his vision.

So must the actors rally to the call to action. The music has been written, the interpretation is being directed. We are simply the instruments assembled to play the notes clearly and with feeling. If my interpretation differs at any point from that of the director, and he directs a change, I must be ready at a moment's notice to make that adjustment.

By personality I am very much a planner. I like to have everything laid out and organized in my head before I make decisions. Through practice born of necessity, I've begun to enjoy some spontaneity (especially if I already suspect that the situation will warrant it :P). I do have to consciously reject rising stress, though, when encountering an unexpected curve ball.

As a Christian, however, I have not only accepted Jesus as my personal Savior, but surrendered to his personal Lordship over my life. He is my life Director. Any ideas I might have about my life's story, or my own character arc, must be subject to his plans for me. Now he has the final word and authority. He IS the final word and authority!

Your word, O Lord, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens. ~ Psalm 119:89

For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head...so that in everything he might have the supremacy. ~ Colossians 1:16-18

God recently gave me an apt illustration of how this can play out in my everyday life. Last week I was starting the draft for this very blog post, and pondering the implications of what it could mean, when my older sister approached me about the possibility of doing a short trip on the weekend to visit some friends. While I didn't have specific "plans" that took up my weekend yet, in my mind I was already allotting that time to prepare for some auditions I had coming up. But we took a few minutes to pray over the decision together, and I quickly realized that this was exactly what God was trying to teach me! 

I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you. Do not be as the horse or as the mule which have no understanding, whose trappings include bit and bridle to hold them in check, otherwise they will not come near to you. Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but he who trusts in the Lord, lovingkindness shall surround him. ~ Psalm 32:8-10

We did end up going, and not only did we have a wonderful visit, but I was even able to help with teaching about acting at a film workshop on our way there. :-) A great reminder that "a man’s steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand his own way?" (Proverbs 20:24) Indeed, it is only by seeking his direction for us that our lives can be truly significant. It is only by following his direction that we can rest secure. 

I know, O Lord, that a man’s life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps. ~ Jeremiah 10:23

This is what the Lord says—your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. ~ Isaiah 48:17
  
My life story is his to write. My time is his to spend. My love is his to give. My feet are his to go. My hands are his to serve. And even the smallest line in his script has more meaning than one of my monologues; the smallest role in his story more satisfying than any saga I could construct for myself.

We've got to stop being divas and let divine authority run the show!

Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." ~ Isaiah 55:6-11

Yes, Lord! Amen; so be it.

For anyone who is curious about how theology and acting go together, this is the post for you! In doing my character study for my next acting role (Virginia Page in IN HIS STEPS: the series) it has struck me once again how similar it can be to learning who we are in Christ.

Coming to understand how the character thinks and how this translates directly to her words and actions echoes the exhortation to "renew our minds" and so know God's "approved and perfect will" for how we should live (Romans 12:1-2). Actions follow thoughts. "For as he thinks within himself, so is he." (Proverbs 23:7) If the thoughts are in order, the actions that are "scripted" or "directed" to follow make perfect sense.

Let's take an example.

                                                                     VIRGINIA:
                                                                      (angrily)                                          
                                                             Shut up!

                           She hangs up on him. (....)

If the script indicates that my story character is acting out in anger, I must investigate all clues to discover the underlying source of what I am feeling threatened by that would cause me to lash out this way. Anger can encompass a broad range of stimuli, and is often a reaction born of fear. So how do I know what my character is afraid of? There can be multiple factors at work, and this is where context really helps.

Symptomatic emotions might be envy, bitterness, or insecurity. But when you break it down, envy is fear that what someone else has (or has the potential to have) will give them greater satisfaction and happiness than we can ever have without possessing that very thing ourselves. Bitterness is believing that what happened in the past has forever robbed you of a worthwhile future. Insecurity dons many masks: power abuse (desire for control; micro-management), doormat syndrome (desire for acceptance and approval no matter the cost), flamboyant condescension (desire for freedom from perceived constraints and disdain for limits, authority, and tradition). Any of these (which are but a brief sampling of possibilities) may manifest themselves as a simple action or exclamation of anger.

Once the source of emotion is identified, I can then construct the sequence of thoughts that would logically support and lead to this behavior/dialogue for my character in the scene. Of course the hard part, both in acting and in life, is to be aware and discerning of what our mind is dwelling on and accepting for truth, and "take captive" thoughts that do not belong in this new way of thinking (2 Corinthians 10:5). My job is to determine through careful study the thoughts that I, as my character, need to think to have the desired outcome. To do this I run them through my character's belief and personality filter.

It's the same for a Christian; thoughts will come both invited and uninvited into our heads. "But we have the mind of Christ." (1 Corinthians 2:16) Not all thoughts are welcome to stay anymore. Many must be shown the door as soon as they try to sign in. Always check them against the "guest list": is it true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy? Think about these things! (Philippians 4:8)

We are new creations (2 Corinthians 5:17); "...the old has gone, the new has come!" What is our character like now? Maybe we aren't sure what it all means yet. But in scripture we have a wealth of resource at hand to delve into the depths of what we are to think, believe, and be. Not only that, but we have the help of the Holy Spirit also to teach us and lead us into all Truth. There exists no better life coach than he.

Every time we find ourselves voicing or acting out something that does not line up with the Truth of who we are in Christ, we have an incredible opportunity to stop and identify what negative belief we are holding to. Once located, to effectively remove it, we must replace it with a conquering Truth derived from our knowledge of the One who is Truth himself, Jesus Christ.

To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” ~ John 8:31-32

Disrobe yourself from the lies you are clinging to! Wrap yourself in true knowledge that leads to life—life abundant, dripping over, resplendent with righteousness, peace, and joy (John 10:10; Romans 14:17)!

Peter, inspired by the Holy Spirit, put it like this:

"To those who through the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ have received a faith as precious as ours: 
   Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. 
   For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. 
   Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." 
~ 2 Peter 1:2-11

In Christ we are new creations. The Truth will set us free to live that way.

It began as a typical playground squabble. "Yes." "No!" "Yes!" "No!" "Yes!" "NO!" "Yes, yes, yes!" "No, no, NO!" "YES infinity! So there."

Boy crosses obstinate arms, chin down, narrowed eyes boring laser-holes. Girl perches sassy fingers on hips, pursed lips smirking superiority.

Enter Babysitter. That would be Me.
"Hey, guys, do you know what infinity means?"

Stubborn stares. Girl's face says it all. 'Course I know what infinity means. It means I won. Duh! Boy's voice droops in unjust defeat. "It's more than anybody can count. All at once." Leave it to a child to sum up deep truth in profoundly simple terms.

"That's absolutely right! You can't measure it. Do you know what I realized the other day about infinity? If you add five thousand to infinity, it's still infinity. And if you take AWAY ten million? It's still infinity!"

There is bonding in the mesmerizing struggle between cynicism and wonder. Is this for real? Forgotten is the petty disagreement. Earthly things pass away in gazing at transcending realities.

"God's like that. He's Forever."

Giggles erase anger, and we move inside. "When was God born?"

"God has always been there, and always will be. That's called 'eternal.' But—he was born. Do you remember what the angel told Mary to name him?"

Understanding dawns. "Jesus?"

"Yes. Jesus was born when God, who is eternal, like infinity-forever, chose to come into our world as a man."

Glances. "You mean a baby...."

"Were you a baby once?"

Boy-eyes and Girl-eyes dart to baby photos framed on the wall and echo the smiles of their former selves.

"Just like you didn't stay a baby, Jesus didn't stay a baby. He grew up."

Girl-face counts floorboards. "But he died. So he wasn't forever."

"He did die; he died for us. But he didn't stay dead any more than he stayed a baby! Remember about infinity? How even if we take a lot away—even if we try to subtract ten million YEARS—it's still infinity? Jesus was God, and he had so much Forever-Life inside that he couldn't stay dead. He is still forever alive right now, and always will be." Leave it to words spilling before conscious thought to frame forever-truth in finite syllables. I'm preaching to myself as much as to these child-size eternal souls before me.

Hush hovers. Eternity is a large bite for growing minds to chew on. And my mind grows too.

Energy quivers, and toys call from the next room, and the kids answer the call. Their voices filter back to me all sing-songy as I follow. "In-FIN-ity! In-FIN-ity! In-FIN-ity!..." And the Seed just planted nestles deep in heart-soil to their tune. And the Seed will be watered. And it will grow roots. And it will reach for Son-light and bear its fruit. Because infinity-Seed doesn't stay dead.

"The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit." ~ John 3:8

I love this verse! It whispers to me of the mystery of Trust, of the security and freedom to be found in surrender. Why am I excited about surrender?

Because:

"He gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.' Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." ~ James 4:6-8, 10

Solomon tells us that God "mocks proud mockers but gives grace to the humble." (Proverbs 3:34) That's why James exhorts us to "Submit yourselves, then, to God." Jesus himself prayed, "Not my will, but yours be done." (Luke 22:42)

All these speak of laying down our own agenda to embrace that of the Father. His plans, His ways are so much higher and better than our own. But we fearfully turn away from them to lay our own railway track over an abyss. How utterly foolish! How pitifully futile.

My dad explained it once that the grace of God is like a strong wind. Have you ever tried to walk facing into a 30 mph wind? It's not easy. What if we were to turn around (repent) and go the same direction the wind is going? What a difference it would make! If you were driving, your gas mileage would be great. ;) The opposing force has now become an enabling force. The wind didn't switch which way it was going; we did.

God is always the same—yesterday, today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8) The Spirit-wind will not stop blowing or change direction just because we decide we have a "better idea" than what God would have us do. When we humble our hearts before Him, acknowledging His greatness, His infinite wisdom, His RIGHTeousness, He "lifts us up" like eagles soaring on a current of supernatural favor and strength. 

"All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen."  ~ 1 Peter 5:5-11

A door into a room usually only swings one way. If I try to push on a door that says "Pull," or vice-versa, I might grow frustrated and complain that the door is "stopping" me. However, it's only a matter of submitting my preconceived ideas about how the door should have been hung and following the instructions. Did the door lock itself when it saw me coming? Of course not. Was someone on the other side of it pressing hard so I couldn't get in? Not likely. What shall we conclude then? If we continue in our obstinacy, chances are we'll be getting nowhere fast.

I'd rather soar.