Hello again! I worked on another film production last month (Surrender), so haven't kept up the ol' blog as closely as I'd thought I might so far this year.

I just got back from a well-known Christian film festival held in San Antonio, TX, where over 2000 people gathered to appreciate each other's months and years invested in stories they were inspired to bring to life on the screen, and forge or strengthen partnerships and teams for the next project down the road.

This particular festival has a specific and clearly expressed goal of publicly recognizing and honoring films that are excellent, meaningful, and affirming of Biblical values.

Our society has been deluged with a constant stream of media, to the point where many don't even pretend to be discerning in what they feed their minds, their souls on. Art and entertainment have never been neutral. Newscasters and filmmakers (the storytellers of our day) are not so much reflections, but rather shapers of culture around them, not only by the way they present their stories (based on fictional or real events), but more importantly by the sort of stories they choose to spend their finite time on this earth telling.

As the audience, we are also choosing who we will become both by how we ingest stories and simply which stories we take in. Last week at the festival I was greatly encouraged by the stories I saw being told. Stories that I believe will change lives, that will give people hope, and the courage to then participate in giving hope to others.

Two films I had a part in working on were screened: Indescribable and Alone Yet Not Alone. It was my first time seeing either one, which made it even more exciting. The two other films I had a chance to see (between hours upon hours of speaking with various filmmakers and attendees) were Return to the Hiding Place, which won Best Feature, and The Drop Box, a documentary which won two big awards: Sanctity of Life category winner, and the Grand Jubilee Prize for Best of Festival ($101,000).

I saw it at the Thursday showing, and in my opinion The Drop Box was well worthy of the win. (trailer: http://www.dropbox-movie.com/trailer.html) I haven't found it available for purchase anywhere yet, but when it is, I'm going to acquire a copy! If Return to the Hiding Place comes to a theater near you (next month or so?), I recommend it as well. The awards ceremony was fabulous, and the last portion was especially moving. Below is a video that will help give you a taste of it.

“I’d rather tell the plainest truth with $100,000 than the most sophisticated technological lie with $10 million or $100 million.”

The 22-year-old young man who made The Drop Box has a deep vision for producing media that will present Truth. Truth is not popular or politically correct, but it is powerful in the best of ways. We must study, prepare, work and pray to handle the Word of Truth honorably, in humility and reverence toward God, not mens' opinions.

Therefore, since we have this ministry, as we received mercy, we do not lose heart, but we have renounced the things hidden because of shame, not walking in craftiness or adulterating the word of God, but by the manifestation of truth commending ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God. 
~ 2 Corinthians 4:1-2

Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth. ~ 2 Timothy 2:15

Stories matter, and they are worth telling well. Speaking of which, I'm actually heading out this week to go help on the script development team for another film. I'd very much appreciate your prayers for clarity, creativity, and wisdom as we work on characters, themes, plot arcs, and all the other strands that weave together to make a coherent and compelling narrative.

For now, I'll leave you with a favorite song:

Treasure In Heaven is the tale of a small town pastor who is merely going through the motions. All seems to be a smooth ride, until a stranger's quiet wisdom prompts the Rev to take a sober look at his congregation's complacency, as well as his own. No longer content with appeasing the church board, the Rev begins to take a stand for living according to scripture instead of the status quo. 

Not everyone is happy about his rekindled spiritual fervor, however. When he confronts a prominent businessman about an adulterous affair, threats and rumors start to fly. Now the Rev and his wife have a choice to make: to fear man, or to fear God.

This is the second feature I've acted in, and the first to be finished! I play a girl in the youth group named Jane who is startled out of her "normal" teenage existence through the radical change she sees in the life of her pastor. The premiere of Treasure in Heaven is scheduled for Saturday, November 10, 2012 at the Cobb Theater in Leesburg, VA. Unfortunately, I'll not be in the area, but if YOU are, you might want to check it out.

Cobb Theatre Auditorium #11 Village 12 1600 Village Market Blvd Leesburg, VA 20175 (571) 291-9462 http://www.cobbtheatres.com/leesburg12.aspx 

Doors will open at 9:15 AM and the movie will start promptly at 10:00 AM (i.e. there will be no movie trailers shown). The concession stand will be open.

Tickets are $5 at the door. Please bring cash as the movie showing is a special event for the theater, so will not be using the normal movie ticketing system.

Movie Trailer: http://www.tihthemovie.com/TIH_View_Trailer.html

Two weeks ago I had a lesson. It was a life lesson. It was a pottery lesson.

The potter I was learning from teaches sculpting. He taught me how to make a clay vase and then a bowl, using fine quality clay, a wheel, and a few small tools. He patiently demonstrated the entire workflow, talking through each step and explaining the hows and whys. Then he placed a generous lump of clay in my hand, we switched places around the wheel, and I began applying what I had just witnessed.

The first step, and the most important one, is to center the clay on the wheel. As the wheel began to spin faster and faster my hands pressed hard around the clay, keeping it in the center where the centrifugal and centripetal forces would work for and not against the shaping process.

Once this was accomplished, I carefully dug my thumb into the center to establish the base thickness, adding water as needed to moisten the clay. Balancing with my remaining fingers on the outer edge, I slowly drew my thumb toward the side, allowing the interior circle to widen. To create the sides, I crossed my thumbs for better control and gently pulled on either side of the clay wall with my index and middle fingers. The whirling wheel made the wall pull up evenly as I pressed and pulled the malleable clay. Shaping tools aided in refining texture and curve, or scraping excess clay from the base. From start to finish, this is called "throwing" the clay.

Finally, we slid durable string underneath the vessel in preparation for removing it from the wheel, and used a lifting tool to set it on another table to dry. When hardened some from air-drying, it would be ready for a last trim of the base and drawing the desired design in the clay before firing it in the kiln. If glazed, it would go through the fire twice.

On my second throw (first try at the bowl) all was going well until I got part way into the shaping of the walls. My pinching was not as even as I had hoped, and the instability this caused in the side of the bowl resulted in an implosion. My instructor wasn't upset; he explained what had happened, and gave me a new portion of clay to start over with.
The clay I had just mishandled was still usable, he clarified, but would need reworking (pounding, kneading, etc.) before throwing it again.

I was heavily reminded of the scriptures that speak of us being the clay in God's hands, the Potter's hands. I know how often I can get off-center, trying to pinch my own sides into what I think my life should look like. Alternately, I'll allow or invite others to mold me into how they think I should be, which inevitably leads to uneven, imploding walls. It is only by yielding once more to the master Potter's skill that I can be redeemed and formed into the beauty and usefulness He has destined for me.

This said, we are not promised an easy life, free of pain or hardship or sorrow. We are called to follow in the footsteps of our Master, who lived in sacrificial service to others, and obedience to the Father, in spite of opposition and offense and accusation. Jesus spoke regarding the abandonment and torment he would soon face:  

"Behold, an hour is coming, and has already come, for you to be scattered, each to his own home, and to leave Me alone; and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me. These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." ~ John 16:32-33

The goal of our lives is to be transformed into the image, the shape, of Jesus Christ. Yielding to this transformation is both glorious and painful. But God is greater than the pokes and prods, yes, the abuse inflicted on our malleable selves by well-meaning friends, un-meaning strangers, and malicious "clay vandals."

"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." (Phil. 1:6)

What follows are the lyrics to a song I wrote nearly two years ago. Some of my closest friends are dealing with extremely painful soul wounds right now, and it is to those beloved broken vessels that I dedicate these words.

The Faithful One
a song by Rebekah Cook

In a storm
When the lightning cracks 
And the thunder rumbles
In my storm
When I'm thrown off track 
And my dream has crumbled
I close my eyes and pray

In a storm 
All the windows rattle 
And the roof is shaking
In my storm 
Another fruitless battle
And my heart is breaking
I close my eyes and pray

I pray for strength to make it to another day
That when I blink away the tears
I'll see God's colors again

In the rainbow 
I see your faithfulness
In the rainbow 
Your promise is true
In the rainbow 
I see your faithfulness
In the rainbow 
Your mercies are new

They're new every morning...

On a cloudless day 
The sun beats down
I'm suffocating
On my hot, cloudless day
I feel I'm going to drown 
While I am waiting
So I lift my hands and pray

On a cloudless day
Becalmed on a sea 
Of expectations
On my hot, cloudless day 
Buried in the debris 
Of my frustrations
I lift my hands and pray

I pray for strength to make it to another day
That when you fill my sails once more
I've an anchor for my soul

When the wind blows
I see your faithfulness
When the wind blows 
Your promise is true
When the wind blows
I see Your faithfulness
When the wind blows 
Your mercies are new

They're new every morning...

In the darkness of night 
Lost in a drift 
Of silent grieving
In my darkest night 
Will it ever lift--
This pain I'm weeping?
I bow my head and pray

I pray for strength to make it to another day
That as your arms surround me now
I'll sense a glimpse of dawn

With the sunrise
I see your faithfulness
With the sunrise 
Your promise is true
With the sunrise
I see your faithfulness
With the sunrise 
Your mercies are new

In the storm, in the heat, in the darkness
Though near you sometimes seem so far away
Yet even in the midst of my intense confusion
Your love breathes hope deep inside of me

That when the rain comes
I'll see your faithfulness
For in the rainbow
Your promise is so true
When the wind blows
I'll see your faithfulness
And with each sunrise 
Your mercies are new

Yes, with each sunrise
Your mercies are new

For God, who said, “Light shall shine out of darkness,” is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. ...Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.  ~ 2 Corinthians 4:6-11, 16-18

Some actors are notorious for injecting their own opinions into a script. Opinions on why the character is the way they are, what they should do, how they should do it, and even changing dialogue to better fit what they think the character would say. But that isn't really the actor's place.

If there is a script, it's there for a reason. The story is told the way it is on purpose! Just because I am chosen to portray a role in the story doesn't mean that I have been given creative license to decide what my character is about. My ideas about my character's arc and development will only be legitimate insofar as I am staying true to the intents of the director.

"Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker, to him who is but a potsherd among the potsherds on the ground. Does the clay say to the potter, 'What are you making?' Does your work say, 'He has no hands'?"  ~ Isaiah 45:9

The director has the final word. Any suggestions must pass through the director. The rest of the team unites under his vision.

So must the actors rally to the call to action. The music has been written, the interpretation is being directed. We are simply the instruments assembled to play the notes clearly and with feeling. If my interpretation differs at any point from that of the director, and he directs a change, I must be ready at a moment's notice to make that adjustment.

By personality I am very much a planner. I like to have everything laid out and organized in my head before I make decisions. Through practice born of necessity, I've begun to enjoy some spontaneity (especially if I already suspect that the situation will warrant it :P). I do have to consciously reject rising stress, though, when encountering an unexpected curve ball.

As a Christian, however, I have not only accepted Jesus as my personal Savior, but surrendered to his personal Lordship over my life. He is my life Director. Any ideas I might have about my life's story, or my own character arc, must be subject to his plans for me. Now he has the final word and authority. He IS the final word and authority!

Your word, O Lord, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens. ~ Psalm 119:89

For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head...so that in everything he might have the supremacy. ~ Colossians 1:16-18

God recently gave me an apt illustration of how this can play out in my everyday life. Last week I was starting the draft for this very blog post, and pondering the implications of what it could mean, when my older sister approached me about the possibility of doing a short trip on the weekend to visit some friends. While I didn't have specific "plans" that took up my weekend yet, in my mind I was already allotting that time to prepare for some auditions I had coming up. But we took a few minutes to pray over the decision together, and I quickly realized that this was exactly what God was trying to teach me! 

I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you. Do not be as the horse or as the mule which have no understanding, whose trappings include bit and bridle to hold them in check, otherwise they will not come near to you. Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but he who trusts in the Lord, lovingkindness shall surround him. ~ Psalm 32:8-10

We did end up going, and not only did we have a wonderful visit, but I was even able to help with teaching about acting at a film workshop on our way there. :-) A great reminder that "a man’s steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand his own way?" (Proverbs 20:24) Indeed, it is only by seeking his direction for us that our lives can be truly significant. It is only by following his direction that we can rest secure. 

I know, O Lord, that a man’s life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps. ~ Jeremiah 10:23

This is what the Lord says—your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. ~ Isaiah 48:17
  
My life story is his to write. My time is his to spend. My love is his to give. My feet are his to go. My hands are his to serve. And even the smallest line in his script has more meaning than one of my monologues; the smallest role in his story more satisfying than any saga I could construct for myself.

We've got to stop being divas and let divine authority run the show!

Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." ~ Isaiah 55:6-11

Yes, Lord! Amen; so be it.

For anyone who is curious about how theology and acting go together, this is the post for you! In doing my character study for my next acting role (Virginia Page in IN HIS STEPS: the series) it has struck me once again how similar it can be to learning who we are in Christ.

Coming to understand how the character thinks and how this translates directly to her words and actions echoes the exhortation to "renew our minds" and so know God's "approved and perfect will" for how we should live (Romans 12:1-2). Actions follow thoughts. "For as he thinks within himself, so is he." (Proverbs 23:7) If the thoughts are in order, the actions that are "scripted" or "directed" to follow make perfect sense.

Let's take an example.

                                                                     VIRGINIA:
                                                                      (angrily)                                          
                                                             Shut up!

                           She hangs up on him. (....)

If the script indicates that my story character is acting out in anger, I must investigate all clues to discover the underlying source of what I am feeling threatened by that would cause me to lash out this way. Anger can encompass a broad range of stimuli, and is often a reaction born of fear. So how do I know what my character is afraid of? There can be multiple factors at work, and this is where context really helps.

Symptomatic emotions might be envy, bitterness, or insecurity. But when you break it down, envy is fear that what someone else has (or has the potential to have) will give them greater satisfaction and happiness than we can ever have without possessing that very thing ourselves. Bitterness is believing that what happened in the past has forever robbed you of a worthwhile future. Insecurity dons many masks: power abuse (desire for control; micro-management), doormat syndrome (desire for acceptance and approval no matter the cost), flamboyant condescension (desire for freedom from perceived constraints and disdain for limits, authority, and tradition). Any of these (which are but a brief sampling of possibilities) may manifest themselves as a simple action or exclamation of anger.

Once the source of emotion is identified, I can then construct the sequence of thoughts that would logically support and lead to this behavior/dialogue for my character in the scene. Of course the hard part, both in acting and in life, is to be aware and discerning of what our mind is dwelling on and accepting for truth, and "take captive" thoughts that do not belong in this new way of thinking (2 Corinthians 10:5). My job is to determine through careful study the thoughts that I, as my character, need to think to have the desired outcome. To do this I run them through my character's belief and personality filter.

It's the same for a Christian; thoughts will come both invited and uninvited into our heads. "But we have the mind of Christ." (1 Corinthians 2:16) Not all thoughts are welcome to stay anymore. Many must be shown the door as soon as they try to sign in. Always check them against the "guest list": is it true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy? Think about these things! (Philippians 4:8)

We are new creations (2 Corinthians 5:17); "...the old has gone, the new has come!" What is our character like now? Maybe we aren't sure what it all means yet. But in scripture we have a wealth of resource at hand to delve into the depths of what we are to think, believe, and be. Not only that, but we have the help of the Holy Spirit also to teach us and lead us into all Truth. There exists no better life coach than he.

Every time we find ourselves voicing or acting out something that does not line up with the Truth of who we are in Christ, we have an incredible opportunity to stop and identify what negative belief we are holding to. Once located, to effectively remove it, we must replace it with a conquering Truth derived from our knowledge of the One who is Truth himself, Jesus Christ.

To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” ~ John 8:31-32

Disrobe yourself from the lies you are clinging to! Wrap yourself in true knowledge that leads to life—life abundant, dripping over, resplendent with righteousness, peace, and joy (John 10:10; Romans 14:17)!

Peter, inspired by the Holy Spirit, put it like this:

"To those who through the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ have received a faith as precious as ours: 
   Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. 
   For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. 
   Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." 
~ 2 Peter 1:2-11

In Christ we are new creations. The Truth will set us free to live that way.

~ The following is resurrected from my journal musings of over four years ago. While I did not locate a specific date for the entry, in this case the time of origin has no real bearing on the content—which is as relevant to me now as it was then. ~

I reach through layers of slumber, past troubling dreams, and lie there, blinking slowly to let go of the remnants of sleep. The nightmare isn't true, I realize...and will my mind to stop churning.

It's early yet, and the birds have just begun to work their way through the Saturday morning repertoire. Some of the chirps sound quite close. Okay. I'm curious now. I work my way out of the bedclothes and get off the bed so I can look out the window. I smile, enjoying the sight. There are two of them, side by side, perched on the white rake of an antenna mounted on our roof. They have front row seats to the sunrise.

I love it when I'm close enough to watch their sharp, short beaks open and close as they keep the conversation going like good football [soccer] commentators. Regretfully, I leave the winged creatures to their melodies and retreat to the bathroom mirror to reflect on my thoughts.

What does it mean to have front row seats to a sunrise? - I wondered, drying my face on the short rose-colored towel.
It seemed utterly presumptuous now to assume that the pair of birds I had witnessed sitting above the roof would have a better view than those swooping gently in the fresh morning air.

And yet, did that mean all of them saw it equally well? Perhaps, though each of them has the unique opportunity to fully appreciate the joy of the morning right before their eyes—just perhaps, like us, there are only some who choose to watch the day's beauty unfold. Only some who acknowledge the singular creativity of this day's miracle. Who raise their eyes, their voices, their hearts, in humble thanksgiving and adoration of the One whose mercies are new every morning.

I am dressed now and sitting on the edge of my bed. I close my eyes, silently making my own choice: to play in tune with heaven's melody, to watch attentively for every movement of the orchestra Conductor's hand, and so live in harmony with the theme of eternity's love song.

May I remember this choice today, and always Today.

What do you think? Yes? No? It depends?

In theory, we intellectually assent to the faithfulness of God, his goodness, his love for us. In practice, many of us hold inherent in the meaning of  blindness, or not seeing yet, an uncertainty and fear of what might or might not happen. Can we call this faith?

It would seem that we have confused ourselves about the nature of trust. Trust is an "assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something." (Merriam Webster) So, really, it's only a blind trust if we have not grown acquainted with the person or thing in which we have placed our trust. It is through the knowing that trust grows. Our trust is MEANT to grow. As we learn to know and "see" the source and foundation of our trust, it won't shake us up to not see the rest.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. ~ Hebrews 11:1-2, 6

Trust grows as we deepen our relationship with him, grow our knowing him. That is where the assured part comes in. First we take a step of reliance, then it is assured by experiencing the evidence of God's unchanging integrity and the dependability of his promises. We come to trust him! When we let fears and uncertainties bring thoughts into our minds of doubt, we need to fight back with what we know about God and his unfailing love. He is so worthy of our trust.

If our trust in God feels blind (in the sense that the "not seeing" engenders fear), could it be that we simply do not know his character (Jeremiah 9:24)? His infinite ability and strength? Know that he is the very essence of truth (John 14:6; 18:37)? That he is by definition love (1 John 4:16)? That he has given all that he has to make us members of his own family—we who have no ability in ourselves to become worthy or deserving of this marvelous mercy?

"So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." ~ Matthew 6:31-34

What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. ...I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. ~ Romans 8:31-34, 38-39

He who provided a steady miraculous flow of oil from the widow's jug and flour from her jar (1 Kings 17), who made ravens carry meat to satisfy a prophet's hunger in time of famine (1 Kings 17), who floated an ax-head to repay a loan (2 Kings 6)—how will he not also supply my every need? For I know whom I have believed (2 Timothy 1:12), and he is ever faithful. Yes, even in spite of me!

"...if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself. ~ 2 Timothy 2:13

As a good friend of mine says, "it's great to know that God's provision doesn't depend on our ability to worry about the future." It is not as if we have to get in "x" days of worrying before handing it over to God, to ensure that he knows exactly how important our problem is. We can give up our cares, worries, and stress to him right away, because he already cares.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:6-7

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)

To cultivate an unshakable trust we must grow in our knowing of God's:

• Unconditional love for us, based apart from our performance
• Compassion and power to bring beauty out of brokenness
• Rock-solid record of faithfulness in both our lives and others
• Sky-higher wisdom devoted to individual GOOD plans for us

Don't just take somebody's word for it, not even mine! Your God-trust will be much stronger if you go directly to the source yourself. The Bereans had a great habit: "...they received the word with all eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so." (Acts 17:11)

Feel free to leave a comment! I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter. :-)

It began as a typical playground squabble. "Yes." "No!" "Yes!" "No!" "Yes!" "NO!" "Yes, yes, yes!" "No, no, NO!" "YES infinity! So there."

Boy crosses obstinate arms, chin down, narrowed eyes boring laser-holes. Girl perches sassy fingers on hips, pursed lips smirking superiority.

Enter Babysitter. That would be Me.
"Hey, guys, do you know what infinity means?"

Stubborn stares. Girl's face says it all. 'Course I know what infinity means. It means I won. Duh! Boy's voice droops in unjust defeat. "It's more than anybody can count. All at once." Leave it to a child to sum up deep truth in profoundly simple terms.

"That's absolutely right! You can't measure it. Do you know what I realized the other day about infinity? If you add five thousand to infinity, it's still infinity. And if you take AWAY ten million? It's still infinity!"

There is bonding in the mesmerizing struggle between cynicism and wonder. Is this for real? Forgotten is the petty disagreement. Earthly things pass away in gazing at transcending realities.

"God's like that. He's Forever."

Giggles erase anger, and we move inside. "When was God born?"

"God has always been there, and always will be. That's called 'eternal.' But—he was born. Do you remember what the angel told Mary to name him?"

Understanding dawns. "Jesus?"

"Yes. Jesus was born when God, who is eternal, like infinity-forever, chose to come into our world as a man."

Glances. "You mean a baby...."

"Were you a baby once?"

Boy-eyes and Girl-eyes dart to baby photos framed on the wall and echo the smiles of their former selves.

"Just like you didn't stay a baby, Jesus didn't stay a baby. He grew up."

Girl-face counts floorboards. "But he died. So he wasn't forever."

"He did die; he died for us. But he didn't stay dead any more than he stayed a baby! Remember about infinity? How even if we take a lot away—even if we try to subtract ten million YEARS—it's still infinity? Jesus was God, and he had so much Forever-Life inside that he couldn't stay dead. He is still forever alive right now, and always will be." Leave it to words spilling before conscious thought to frame forever-truth in finite syllables. I'm preaching to myself as much as to these child-size eternal souls before me.

Hush hovers. Eternity is a large bite for growing minds to chew on. And my mind grows too.

Energy quivers, and toys call from the next room, and the kids answer the call. Their voices filter back to me all sing-songy as I follow. "In-FIN-ity! In-FIN-ity! In-FIN-ity!..." And the Seed just planted nestles deep in heart-soil to their tune. And the Seed will be watered. And it will grow roots. And it will reach for Son-light and bear its fruit. Because infinity-Seed doesn't stay dead.

The film is wrapped, and so are the Christmas gifts.

And there are other gifts. Gifts that sometimes I forget to see, appreciate, delight in. Smelling blossoms in October snow, watching the sun rise out my car window on a dawn well-cracked, and hearing faint strains of teasing laughter float from the kitchen. Small gifts that point to the Great Gift—breathing bundle of Love swaddled and worshiped and sacrificed—the gracious, glorious God-Gift sung about across millennia proclaiming I AM among us.

Christmas: celebrating Christ Jesus, our Messiah. We celebrate Christ come to man, Power-Word wrapped in earth-skin. (John 1) We celebrate Christ the chosen Lamb, all most good and pure and innocent atoning for sin-cost beyond our repair. (John 1:29) We celebrate Christ in us, rapturous, holy mystery, the very hope of glory. (Col. 1:27) And it is right that we rejoice!

And there are other days. Days that sometimes I forget to stop and wonder, revel in, celebrate.

To fully celebrate HIM.

There are blessings every day for the counting, gifts of wonder to unwrap, give thanks for. Cold hands prickling, thawing by air of firelight, leftovers warming twice with memories, and sore muscles promising strength on the morrow. And again I say: Rejoice! ...For indeed, the Lord is near. (Phil. 4:4-5) Behold, NOW is the day of salvation. (2 Cor. 6:2) And day after day, while it is yet Today (Heb. 3:12-13), I need the encouragement, the warning, to leave my heart soft to the touch of heaven's grace, my eyes wide open to God-glory now, my fingertips feeling the edges of planet-paper to fold—yes, even rip it back to reveal the depth of his goodness!

I long to see with G-D vision. To look through God's glasses and reel from the absence of mortal myopia. To behold his Glory, his Grace, and his Goodness face to face, and live deeply in the reality of those dimensions. How I see will change how I live. And I see dimly now, know dimly now, but as I look for and gaze on his reflections around me, I am transformed from the inside out. (1 Cor. 13:12; 2 Cor. 3:18) I want to eye with heaven's measure, and prove grace to myself and others. (Rom. 12:2) Because clear sight is the difference between a light-filled life and a midnight existence. (Luke 11:34-35)

Unwrapping these other-day, every-day, holy-day gifts is a treasure hunt. My resolution? Find real Treasure, and give my heart to it. (Matt. 6:21) Even if--especially if—I find it in swaddling clothes, bound in common-place wrapping. God with us. God with me. God in me and around me and wrapping me in his arms of heaven-born, down-to-earth love.

What will I dare to unwrap today?

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved to dance. Loved the dizzying wind rushing past my uplifted face; exulting in the grandeur of my long twirling skirt; pointing my toes as I stretched to full height, my arms encircling imaginary beach balls as I spun and spun again....Or spreading my hands wide as I speed-turned in a stretch of grass, like Maria in The Sound of Music.

One day I realized that I had stopped dancing. Not on purpose. I'd just gotten busy with other things. I guess I still wanted to dance, but now it felt awkward, like a new teenager trying to get used to their skin again. Come to think of it, I was.

Have you heard Michael W. Smith's instrumental album "Freedom"? It's a soundtrack-like collection he composed over a decade ago, now. I was playing it one day and, realizing I was alone in the room, got up and simply started to dance again. Stepping, balancing, sweeping spins. And I began to cry healing tears. Healing a hurt I hadn't known was there. I felt God so close. He was right there, holding my heart ever so gently. I'd let a beautiful expression of worship fade away with time, but God was giving it back to me with joy unspeakable.

There are other joys I'm in the process of getting back. I'd fallen out of my (formerly) regular strength-training routine; last night I did a set of shoulder exercises, and I am already starting to notice the benefits. This last weekend, after an eleven-week hiatus, I got my clarinet out and played a few songs. In the busyness of my summer, I let this blog slip a little. But today I am posting!

Wholesome habits can slip away through neglect, and it's often hard to break past motivational or fear-based barriers to recover the discipline. But if the rewards are worth the effort, let's go boldly the throne of God's grace to obtain help in our time of need.


"Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit." ~ Galatians 5:25


How are we to live by the Spirit? One step at a time. 

One step in His time.

It reminds me of the expression "to waltz right through." Whoever came up with that must have been a girl, and had a good partner. ;) Trying to waltz with a guy who doesn't know how is frustrating. But when he leads well and you're paying attention, it's easy to follow.

What is the next Spirit-step for you?